Old
by Shrimptastic
Summary: Nothing can make one feel older than seeing a child grown.AU Story. VERY Hidden spoilers.


Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

A/U Story

Roy hated to think of Fullmetal as an adult. There were several reasons, but the most prominent was, number one- It made Roy feel old. Not just older- but _old._ As he looked at the miffed _young adult_ in front of him, he had the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd overlooked a few birthdays. Suddenly his thirties seemed to be slipping away. He knew he was in his prime, or at least he _had known_. He'd never thought himself old before. Mature, yes, but that was a positive point. Old was quite negative. And now, it was rearing its ugly head. Was he really 38? That was almost 40! His father had been younger than he was now when he married. He was 37 or so when Roy was born. And that was considered _old._ Roy knew as a child that his father was different. Not better, and certainly not worse than any one else, just unique. Roy had realized in his adult years that the reason he felt his father was different, was because of his age. He had about ten years on anyone else who had children Roy's age.

Roy never had aspirations to become like his father. Roy had aspirations to become _himself_. Not to model after anyone but be his own being, carved out of fresh wood, or made from a freshly caste mold. All of those quirky artsy metaphors- or similes- he could never remember which was which. To accomplish his goals, he couldn't limit himself by following in another's footsteps, could he? But now, as he looked at the taller, more handsome, _angrier_, young man in front of him he realized that he was going down a road that he couldn't exactly control… a road that his father had traveled before him, and probably countless others. Just to wake up one day, one moment really and realize, that you just weren't that young anymore.

Back in the day Roy had taken great pleasure in making Ed's life hell. He was a kid, and for Roy that meant he got to tease the shrimp as much as humanly possible- and then some. But now, he couldn't really crack the same jokes at the _kid_. While Ed was pretty much the same through and through, aging 6 years certainly must have given him a different mentality, which meant to piss him off, Roy had to come up with completely new material. A daunting and horrific task for the one and only Flame Alchemist. Roy wondered if it really was worth the time to plan his attacks, or just roll with the punches. He wouldn't have his game plan, but he'd get lucky every once and a while. A crack here and there to push Ed over the edge would have to be savored now.

He was quite bothered, he realized. Ed's absence had been difficult, but he wasn't sure why him being back was just as complex. Edward was twenty-two. Six years… Roy had become accustomed to seeing Edward week in week out- sometimes a few weeks of absence, but always communication, and always that angry, arrogant, smug little smirk returning to his office to say some smart ass comment on Roy's political, social, and personal agenda and/or ideals. He had seen Fullmetal so frequently back then he didn't notice when they boy swore he had grown a few inches, or that his face had gradually become less childlike and round, nor had he noticed when his eyes finally showed depth and when the innocence that Ed had begun to slowly drain away after years in the world of adults. His face was no longer child like at all, and though his features were clearly young, they were also clearly grown up.

Roy wondered if he looked in the mirror now, if he would see himself as he perceived, or if he would see an older version of himself. The real Roy Mustang. The 38 year old Mustang, and not the young 29-30 something man with his whole career ahead of him yet to unfold. He was just finding maturity when he had seen that little blonde child, pitiful, and broken in Rizenbool. When the same little boy came to find him, a few years later, Roy had been in his prime, the world at his feet, waiting for his beck and call to do whatever the then newly appointed Colonel had pleased. When the teenager left, Roy had fought and seen things he never could have imagined, triumphed where the system and justice and good had failed, and he was still going… But now, as the man that Edward Elric had become stood to face him, he was falling and falling fast. In six years he had gone from someone with a future, to someone with a past… and nothing to show for it either. He had no one at home, no children, nothing set in stone, as he should have at this age.

The change in Edward as well as himself had been drastic over the six years. And Roy Mustang was a man who hated change.

"Will you _stop_ fuckin' staring at me like that?" Edward said, clearly exasperated and ready to get on with it all. Well, Roy thought, at least some things- like Edward's peasant language- never changed. And thank god for it. The boy's voice was clearly older, however. There was more resonance, and more depth to it.

"Settle down." Roy found himself saying quite commandingly.

"I am settled…" Ed mumbled, looking off to the side, ceasing his fidgeting. Roy looking at him as he was made him more than a bit nervous. The Colonel, who had never so much as given him a second look was now analyzing the hell outta him. Ed hadn't been worried about seeing Mustang until he walked in the door. Roy was a constant in his life. Missing for a good chunk of time out of the young Alchemist's life. It had never occurred to Ed that Mustang wouldn't be the same ol' jackass. His eyes had lost some of their edge… some of their built in mocking glare. He wasn't sitting at his desk like he did in the old days… it was a different pose, one of acceptance rather that one of pompous arrogance.

"I'm sorry if I seem terse, Fullmetal, but you showing up after six years has me rather…"

"Stupid?" Ed volunteered, grinning a bit

"Astounded…" Roy finished, a hint of annoyance on the last syllable. He rolled his eyes at the blonde in front of him. His braid was gone, replaced with a ponytail. An even more feminine style that somehow made him appear more masculine? Even Roy had to take time out and look at life's little idiosyncrasies sometimes… "So, in a nutshell, you went AWOL for six years, and now you're back?"

Ed thought for a moment, his right eyebrow rising slightly as his eyes traveled to the ceiling. He crossed his arms and then looked back at Roy.

"Yup." He said in a tone that seemed quite final. As if he didn't want to talk about anything regarding his six years gone. It wasn't the time, the place, or really any sort of occasion to even begin so say one word about it. He wasn't sure if there was ever an occasion to talk about _it_ with Mustang. He was _Roy _after all. For most of his career, Ed had only known Roy as a pain in the ass, and yet in the back of his mind he could have sworn that there was some shard of understanding between them. He didn't hope that there was, he just felt like there was. The last time he remembered seeing Roy was fuzzy. Not warm and fuzzy- he couldn't quite remember it all that well. First Lieutenant Hawkeye had almost hit him with the car… and he got in said car… All he knew was that when he got out of that car with Roy, he was saddened that he might never see Colonel Shit again. He only wished he could remember why…

"Alright." Roy responded. Ed looked a little surprised. Roy never let _anything_ go. In fact he was sure Mustang made it his life's work to get every little bit of information out of Edward. That and know more than anyone, just to piss off Ed. To know everything Edward did, past and present. For some reason he was letting this go.

"Alright?" Ed asked stupidly.

"Are we playing the echo game, Fullmetal?"

"Shut up." Ed crossed his arms again.

Roy smirked. Mustang- one. Fullmetal-zero.

"And?" Roy said after a moment's pause.

"And what?"

"Edward-" Roy began in a warning tone.

"Okay, okay!" Ed held his hands up in defense. "Shit..." He pulled at the white collar of his shirt. Roy quirked an eyebrow. Ed was dressed significantly different. Roy had never seen Fullmetal wear white. But here he was, in front of Roy in a pair of brown trousers- trousers of all things, and a white collared shirt. The sleeves were rolled to his elbows, and coat he had walked in with (Which Roy had _not_ noticed at the time of Ed's entrance) was on the couch by Roy's desk. And not that red coat either. It was brown as well. Now that was a shocker. Ed had worn that stupid red coat and his black ensemble for god knows how many years. Roy clearly remembered calling the kid "Little Red Riding Hood" one occasion when it was raining and Ed had his hood up. Unfortunately for Roy, it was _raining_ at that point in time…

Roy was used to seeing the coat around too. Ed's little brother, Alphonse wore almost the same damn ensemble. Which Roy thought was a little bit strange, considering that Al had no recollection of his brother _wearing_ the same colors, style and coat. Though Alphonse only really Roy by reputation, and what he was told by everyone, the boy had been to see Roy and the others frequently. It was quite strange at first. There had been no contact with any Elric for years, and then Hawkeye had walked into the room, with Al- and Roy had immediately said "Fullmetal?" There certainly was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were related.

What had Ed thought when he saw his brother? After all that the two had been through? Roy took another moment to sit back and let the wheels turn. He seemed to black out Edward's presence in front of him. When Ed disappeared, did he even know if the human transmutation had succeeded? Roy felt a twist in his gut. Edward came back… and his brother was years younger. That and the near four years that they had spent together, with Roy, with Hawkeye, with everyone, was just a story that Al had heard. How the hell was Edward stable after that? Roy may have been a hard ass, but he never doubted the fact that Edward was quite skilled at taking horrific news, especially for a child. But he certainly wasn't a child anymore…

"Fullmetal, have you seen your brother?" Roy said somewhat quietly.

Ed stopped his restless movement immediately, and looked Roy square in the eye- for a second… He hadn't done that the entire time he stood before the man- and if he had, it was Roy who had his eyes averted from him. Ed nodded, smiling lightly.

"Yeah." He answered just as quiet. Roy nodded in reply. Good God, Ed really had grown up… "And I guess you did a good job of telling him stories," Ed said suddenly, before he lost his courage to say it. He shrugged and looked at the wood of the desk instead of Roy. "I didn't know that he didn't remember, he acted as if he did." Ed smoothed his hair, giving him something to do while talking. Ed laughed a bit, very half-heartedly. "To think he doesn't remember all of this shit…" He nodded toward Roy.

Roy was taken aback. Never could he have imagined Ed starting this conversation. It was clear that is wasn't easy for him to talk about either. He needed distraction, something so occupy him so that he wasn't entirely fixed upon his own thoughts- a sign that they truly bothered him. But he'd spoken of it. That right there made "maturity" seem like an understatement in regards to the change that had happened with age…

And damn it all, Roy had missed it. And it bothered him. Roy missed the kid grow up, and it bothered him. The shrimp, the absolute pain in the ass for god knows how many months of his life, and god knows many gray hairs, had grown up. Where was the equivalent exchange in that? Roy had to deal with all the shit Fullmetal had given him, and had to deal out the tough lessons to Ed time and time again and he missed the best part of it all- he wasn't there to see Ed take all of that and finally understand it. Mustang wasn't aware back then that he wanted to be there to see Ed grow up- but he was painfully aware now. And also aware that he had missed it. And it hurt.

Roy shook his head lightly. He was a blind old fool that was for sure. Technically he still had one eye, but back when he had two he was still sightless. Ed was the closest thing to a son Roy had ever had…He hoped to god that it wouldn't be the only experience with "fatherhood" he would have. But the fact remained that he had gotten screwed out of watching the boy turn into a man. God, he was an idiot for not seeing that before…

He sighed, looking at Ed with a new feeling of pride, and sadness.

"He's your brother, Fullmetal, he'd know you even if you never met." Roy swallowed down any feeling of self-pity he was having and cleared his throat. "Besides, if he did remember, he would be mortified at your behavior."

Ed's eyes snapped up to Roy, who was resting his chin on his hand- a gloveless hand- looking quite proud of himself for that.

"Oh aren't you just a barrel of ha-ha-ha's." Edward said, words dripping with sarcasm.

"I dealt with you, of course I have a sense of humor." Roy said plainly. Not intending it to be a mocking statement. Just the plain honest truth. The difference was Ed understood what he meant. In the past when Roy had tried that tactic, it had been completely lost on the twerp. Back in the day, if Roy said "oh Fullmetal, I didn't see you" it was automatically a dreaded "short joke". Ed never thought to consider that Roy perhaps didn't actually see him… Most of the time it was a short joke. But sometimes Roy really just didn't see him…

Ed smirked lightly and put his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, and by the way, Colonel, you did _not_ win that challenge…"

"The duel? What are you talking about?"

"I had to go back and _modify_ a few of the stories you told Al, you egomaniacal psycho."

"Truth is in the eye of the beholder, Fullmetal. And by the way, I'm not a Colonel anymore."

"Yeah well, you've only got one eye, and clearly your vision is fucked up. And by the way, I'm not Fullmetal anymore."

"Touché." Roy sat back in his chair, having traveled forward to sit on the edge once again. "Plans?"

"At the moment?" Ed sighed, not one of weary, but one that expressed how good it felt for him to be home. "I'm just settling back into life…"

"Who else have you seen?"

"I ran into Havoc in a bar last night, actually. He was the one that told me to get my ass over here."

Roy felt like someone had just punched him in the solar plexus. Ed was past the legal drinking age. He nearly brought his hand up to his head in absolute shock. Twenty-two years old… Al was only 16! It was a hard concept to grasp that Ed was really _that _old. He was 16 the last time Roy had seen him! Now he could get drunk? _Legally?_ It was the last straw for poor Roy.

"A bar?" He looked at Ed with an expression of pure incredulity.

"Well yea. How the hell else am I supposed to have a good time on a Thursday night?"

Roy was probably going to need a drink (or many) after this encounter.

The clock struck seven, and Roy knew that was the sound of salvation. Friday's workday was officially over- even if the nightmare of a 22-year-old blonde alchemist wasn't. Ed glanced at the clock.

"Well, I'll let you get outta here and do whatever." Ed turned to grab his coat when Roy spoke.

"Any plans at the moment, Ed?" Roy said. The name Ed had always seemed foreign to him when addressing the kid. But, it was his name. And it seemed to suit him now.

"No, why?" Ed replied, picking up his coat. Roy stood and pulled his blue wool uniform coat off from the back of his chair and put it on.

"Care to have a drink?"

_Well, he's still an alcoholic… _Ed mused.

"Yeah. Why not?" Ed grinned as Mustang buttoned his jacket. "I could so drink you under the table, old man."

"I seriously doubt that." Roy laughed quite hard.

"We'll see…"

"Yes indeed, we will…" Roy grinned, feeling quite young for the first time in a long time.

A/N: Yes another story about Roy and liquor. I wish the movie had turned out something like this. But que será será…


End file.
